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James (Presenter) talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

Yeah, so Diane, during this period, I think people are going to be finding it harder to self sooth, you know, chill out, you know, be kind to yourself, you know, what things can people be doing? To help themselves self sooth, I can get my words out there to self soothe during this period.

Diane Stevens

(Therapy and counselling in London)

talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

I think it’s a really good question, James. I think it’s different for everybody because it depends on what we’ve done in the past. And what we don’t want to do is exacerbate things we’ve done in the past necessarily too that aren’t good for us. So for example, people that might have drunk a glass of wine at the end of the day to relax is not going to be good to increase that and drink more wine. And or a lot of people telling you that they’re overeating I think we’re all going to come out of isolation a little bit bigger than we went into it.

James (Presenter) talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

Yeah, I find myself. I know I was on a diet before I came into COVID-19 and when we went on lockdown, I was just like well I want to treat I’ve been in all day, you know, I want to go eat some junk food that is going to be the highlight of my day getting those donuts or whatever it is. And now I’m looking at the scales and I’m like, “oh no, I’ve put on five kilograms already this has got to stop. What we’re going to do now?¬†Click here if you are looking Counselling in London.

Diane Stevens

(Therapy and counselling in London)

talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

Yeah, and it is hard to get it off, than it is to put it on and it’s hard to do a diet in this kind of situation because we do look for things that satisfy us. And but it would be good if we could have a look at what you know, if we are eating things that make us feel good then we do need to counterbalance that. So if you can go out there and do some exercise, or were finding do some exercise indoors.

And I know there’s some great things going on the TV for the kids in the morning that a lot of adults are getting into too. So they’re getting up and doing their exercise is it Joe weeks is doing the exercises in the morning. So, lots of fans are doing that together. And maybe families can go out again to the parks and I’ve seen lots of children running and dads are timing them and they’re competing with each other, which is creating some good camaraderie together.

And that for adults is important that they’d still get their time to themselves and I know this is really difficult. But if it does mean that you know, if you have a partner or somebody another adult at home that can watch the children while you take that long bath or go and watch a series on Netflix, or watch a series on Netflix when your kids are what you know with headphones in while the kids are playing computer games.

There has to be something but there’s all little things as well that people might treat themselves with you know, still do your face mask or do your nails and people can’t go out and get the usual beauty treatments but is there something that you can do that might help you feel comfortable make sure that you’re still taking care of yourself in the same way wash your hair, you know, put some makeup on if you feel good about that. Some people are loving it that they don’t have to do it but others feeling that, you know, they can’t be bothered.

And when we get into that can’t be bothered stage, that’s when we need to be thinking Hang on a minute, I need to get a grip here. And I need to get myself talking to you and say, right, I’ve got to start doing things that make me feel good about myself, even though we’re in this difficult situation. So, recognizing that point when we’re not getting up in the morning or we laying in longer than we would normally. And then it’s disrupting our sleep because we’re not sleeping the same at night.

So we do have to be kind to ourselves and say, well, I still need a routine, even though we’re in isolation. And that’s something that if you read stories about people that were imprisoned, or they’re in concentration camps, those that were good survivors focused on something, even if it was just getting out on what their life was going to look like. You have to have a focus and not stay in this situation where we’re ruminating over and over again about all the bad things that are going to happen, because there are going to be some difficulties.

And yes, we are going to have big financial difficulties. Because it’s going to affect the environment, it’s going to affect the high streets; it’s going to affect what we buy in the future where we go on holiday. If we can get holidays, we don’t even know these things. But we can’t keep just focusing on what’s going wrong right now. We also need to focus on what we can do and what we’re still able to do. You know, I’ve seen great videos of families cutting each other’s hair.

James (Presenter) talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

Oh yeah.

Diane Stevens

(Therapy and counselling in London)

talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

Beautiful

James (Presenter) talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

That’s right, yeah.

Diane Stevens

(Therapy and counselling in London)

talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

Yeah, doing yoga and together do things that they’ve never done before. And I’ve got colleagues that are taking training courses that they didn’t ever think they’d have time to do learning something new, you know.

James (Presenter) talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

Oh, I think we’ve lost Diane there. So I’m going to call her back. Okay, so we lost Diane there a moment ago. So Diane, you were talking about learning new things with your family. Is that right? Could you carry on with that?

Diane Stevens

(Therapy and counselling in London)

talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

Yeah. I think what’s happening is that a lot of people are starting to feel bored. I think you mentioned that you’re felt self-drain. And boredom can be quite a good thing to think about, you know, what we’ve always perhaps wanted to do and never felt that we’ve had time to do. And I know we can’t go out there and do things. But there are things that we could learn online learning new things, whether it’s training courses, or learning a language or something that we’ve, you know, we thought we’d never get around to doing.

I’m sure lots of people have got books on their shelves that they’ve bought that they’ve meant to read, or they’re meant to finish reading, you know, still [inaudible 05:32] holiday, and they’ve never finished it. So there are things that we can do and in this boredom, we need to use that to see who we are and what creativity we’ve got inside us. Because if we just think we can’t do anything, and we’ve just got to sit and wait.

The longer this goes on, more difficult it’s going to get so a good opportunity to learn about who you are thinking about what you’d like your life to look like. You know we could go out tomorrow and do absolutely anything we wanted. Would you want to do? I’m not saying go out and do that tomorrow, but to give us an idea of planning what we want our life to look like, because a lot of his lives are going to change.

And I mean, I’ve spoken with people that are talking about career changes, and they’re realizing that they can work from home and they don’t want to return to a workplace.

James (Presenter) talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

Yeah, I’ve heard about this to affect some people. Because the landscape at work has actually changed, even though they’re still there. They’re actually doing lots of different things I don’t really want to do because there’s greater loss of staff, you know, you’ve now got to do jobs that you don’t regularly do. And this is pushing people, I think, to look for new jobs. Yeah.

Diane Stevens

(Therapy and counselling in London)

talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

And we don’t know what new jobs are going to be we going to be out there and we don’t know. You know, how things are going to change. I’ve already heard some stories about how some companies are looking at downsizing their buildings and realizing that people can work from home. And for some people, that’s great. You know that they are they don’t have to get on the train, you know, through London In the morning, and it’s great for some people that would love it.

James (Presenter) talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

It’s totally stressful go in and out; you know, of London, I did it for years. And at the end of that time period, I hated getting on the train because no one’s really courteous. That’s another big stressor in your life. No, no, no, I’ve got to do that journey , since I get 45 minutes just to do all my stops and changes and stuff. Yeah,

Diane Stevens

(Therapy and counselling in London)

talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

I think the situation that we’re in now we are seeing changes in how people are respecting each other. And I do hope that in the long term, you know, this does continue. You know, I’ve noticed that people are not rushing around in the same way that they would obviously we can’t rush around the supermarket. We have to be patient; we have to keep two meters. And I’ve noticed cars on speeding anywhere, you know, they’re driving more patiently because I suppose they’ve got more time.

And there, you know, the stories of people leaving gifts for people that look like they’re home or not, you know, whether it’s a bunch of flowers or a note to say we’re thinking about you. And it would be lovely if this [current year 08:06] is continues that we are supposed to be socialized in a different way and a bit more respectful of each other.

James (Presenter) talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

Yeah, I mean, just want to pick up on something that you were just saying, just the practicalities of shopping is so harder now. The other thing is, is that if you go into a small store, and there’s a one way system, and I set it up to force you to only go in one direction, if you’re dawdling, this is annoying people behind you. And I’m just there going, why is she taking so long ago? Why is he taking so long to get to another aisle, but I can’t do anything so this to me, the thing, yes it’s difficult.

Diane Stevens

(Therapy and counselling in London)

talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

It is, and this again is indicative of how society has been that when we want to do something, we want to do it now. We want to order a parcel and we want to get it for the end of the day. We don’t want to wait two days; three weeks or six weeks do what we want it now. And then suddenly, we’re having to wait in the queue. And that, you know, it’s not just the small shops you know, I’m in a large Tesco store, and I’m having to wait while some¬† can’t do what cheese they want.

James (Presenter) talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

yeah

Diane Stevens

(Therapy and counselling in London)

talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

because when I go to the next aisle, I find that someone’s got to wait for me while I decide what biscuits to buy. And people haven’t waited for each other. But I’m conscious that people are waiting. And then it might be that I think I’ve got to move on, because I’m keeping these people waiting too long. But then I find a box around the monitoring system again, to get back to where I want to be.

James (Presenter) talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

I know sometimes you got to do a few circles to get everything you want. You can’t just go back and forth anymore. Yeah.

Diane Stevens

(Therapy and counselling in London)

talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

Oh, yeah. If you haven’t got your shopping list in the same way as they bought the shop layout, you’re wrapping around the store, trying to find what you need, but I think we just have to understand that we’re all doing the same thing. And not to feel pressured by, people moving you on. I mean, don’t take 10 minutes choose packing biscuits. But, you know, think about what you want before you get there met, plan your shopping list before you get there, go somewhere that’s familiar so that you’ve got a general idea of where things are, and be patient and wait for each other.

I was in a store last week where the one way system is working, and I’m waiting for someone to move. And then someone decides to come the wrong way. And come between all of us. And then frustration about that because everyone’s looking at each other and looking at shop assistants who don’t feel confident to challenge some people I mean it’s interesting that the challenge in some people and not others and, you know, this is going to go on for some time here.

And I hope it goes on for some time here that we’re keeping our social distance. I mean, I don’t particularly want to start going out tomorrow and doing things I did two months ago, because we don’t know what the risk is of getting sick.

James (Presenter) talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

Okay, Diane, so what are you doing at the moment in regards to helping people with their mental health?

Diane Stevens

(Therapy and counselling in London)

talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

So in terms of being a therapist and therapists are still working out there, we’re doing it very differently although some therapists are online therapists anyway. But therapists have changed their business so that they’re now doing online sessions. So that can be Skype or Zoom or Telephone. So when people that do need the mental health support, and there is people out there still offering sessions, so if you do feel you need counselling, and some people have put it on hold thinking, we’ll do all this on the lockdowns over if you do need it.

There are people out there that can help you. Some therapists have turned their hand to helping local charities and they’re offering free services for the NHS and other key workers. So therapists are still trying to do as much as they can and getting information out there to help with mental health. And so don’t neglect your mental health if you need support, still seek it out.

James (Presenter) talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

And you know, for people at home, you know, if you are looking to book Diane, you can give her a call and there’ll be a number in the description or maybe below on the screen right now, it’ll be in the description of this video. So you know you can contact Diane at home and if you need therapy then you can get in contact with her

Diane Stevens

(Therapy and counselling in London)

talks:

Covid19: How to self soothe ?

Thank you James.