Dysfunctional family.
A Dysfunctional Family is a family who has a lot of child abuse or neglect, bad behavior and many conflicts. This often occurs because parents are continually doing these things. As a result, the family ends up taking uncivilized actions. In this article, we will discuss guidelines of what you can do to cope with a Dysfunctional Family. We will also look at what not to do in a Dysfunctional Family and provide some solutions to these things.
Those who come from a Dysfunctional Family will experience emotional trauma and pain. This makes it harder to experience a happy and fulfilling life.
Dealing with regular grudges, fights, arguments and silent treatments in a family, is a huge challenge. The good news is, you can actually change this by following the guidelines that have been provided. These will assist you with coping with a Dysfunctional Family and give you the opportunity to keep your relationships with them. You do not have to be drawn into and trapped into their way of life. Need Psychodynamic Psychotherapy to work through something ?
The guidelines to follow include:
1. Pay Attention To Positive Qualities.
Everyone has positive qualities in them. It does not matter what background they have. However, those who regularly experience unwanted and unpleasant actions, will often dwell on negative qualities. As a result, they cannot see any good within each other. Paying attention to the positive qualities will allow you to interact with them easier.
2. Create Light And Polite Conversations.
It is not easy to keep conversations light and polite when someone has done something bad to you. More often than not, emotions will take over. This means things may be more difficult to what they actually are. Family is family. We do not have any choice in this. Whilst there may be a lot of difficulties, do your best to keep conversations light and polite. Don’t bring up past difficulties. Keep conversations interesting.
3. Center Yourself Before Interacting.
Try to find the right balance whilst being sober with family members. Take the time to think and consider ways that you can do to make your interaction beneficial to all. Before doing this, calm and center yourself. Meditation will help with this.
4. Stay Away From Unpleasant Conversations.
Unpleasant conversations often end up getting worse. There are times where it is best to walk away from them. Try to change the conversation to something more positive and enjoyable. Train yourself to refrain from unpleasant conversations. This way you should not end up getting hurt by them.
5. Express Genuine Concerns Without Accusing.
Mindfulness and gentleness is essential when you need to express something bothering you. This can be done without pointing the fingers to other people. Try to tread lightly when confronting others. Do all things respectfully. Never make accusations.
6. Don’t Please treat others Unfairly.
Those in a Dysfunctional Family tend to do what they can to to keep others happy. Because of this, others will find it easier to manipulate and control them whenever they like. Life needs to be lived without having to be worrying about keeping others happy. These people are often unconcerned about your happiness. Don’t change because others want you to change. Learn to say no. Stand up for yourself and be firm. It does not matter if this goes down well or not with others. Doing this will eventually tell others you cannot be controlled or manipulated easily.
If a Dysfunctional Family is to survive, persistence, love and patience must be there. Forgive those who have wronged or mistreated you. Everybody deserves a second chance.
There are some guidelines that teach us how not to deal with Dysfunctional Family members. These are not only for adults, but also for children.
These guidelines include the following:
1. No Talking.
If this is in place, no one will get to express concerns, thoughts or suggestions. It does not matter what it is. Everything including problem behaviors, differences in opinions and conflicts will always go overlooked or put to silence. When there is a crisis, the Dysfunctional Family will never have the time to have family meetings. They would rather avoid all these things and each other
Whilst all family members see the problem that may be occurring, they don’t bother to do anything about it. The problem gets overlooked and they act as if there are no obstacles. Since it cannot be talked about within the family, it cannot be talked about with others outside of the family
Children who grow up with this end up unsure of themselves, shy and dishonest. Wrong decisions will often be made.
2. No Feeling.
Those who live with a Dysfunctional Family are unable to express how they feel. If they try this, they being shut down or made fun of. Other family members will make excuses for those feelings. They do not care how others feel. They say it is better to suffer in silence and will pretend all is fin.
3. No Touching.
Sadly, many children have been abused at a very young age before they even finish high school. To get a good balance again, they may require at least seventeen positives.
4. Never Resolve.
Those who never resolve often end up remaining hurt for a long period of time. They are afraid of confrontation. If difficulties do not get resolved, they will only end up being passed down to the next generation.
5. No Trust.
When the above guidelines are in place, the outcome of these is that there is no trust. When there is no trust in a relationship, it will often come to an end.
The good news is, there are solutions to the above. These include: engage your children in family life. Teach them about responsibility and ownership. Teach them about balance. Show them different ways to express love. Teach your children about forgiveness.
In this article, we have seen what a Dysfunctional Family is. Provided some guidelines of how to cope in this situation. Looked at what not to do in such an environment and provided some brief solutions to these. If you are in this kind of environment, please try some of these and you will see how different life will be for you.
As with all issues written about on this website, please seek help from a trained professional before acting on any information in this article.
Hoxton Therapy notice: Never act on any advice given in these articles or videos. Always seek professional help from us before acting on anything you read or watch on this website.